seventy

Master suppression techniques (or the Swedish word: härskartekniker) is something that is much discussed in Sweden but I have never heard of it here.

Two of the most common ones are the following two which are often used combined:

Ridicule

That through a manipulative way to produce someone's argument or person as silly and unimportant. This is implemented for example by using striking but irrelevant parables - even commenting on what a person looks like in an unproffessional manner is one way.
Example: A colleague laughs at your pronunciation and says you sound like a person in a fun TV series (when you had something important to say).

Affixing of guilt and shame

To make someone ashamed of their properties, or to imply that something they are exposed to is their own fault. This is often done through a combination of ridicule. Example: Even though you were not informed about that informal meeting, you hear that you should have figured out when it was. Nobody listens to what you say at the meeting and you feel that you expressed yourself in a stupid or unclear way. A woman / man who is sexually harrassed has themself to blame, for example becasue of the way she or he dresses.


Most people who use suppression techniques are not aware of it and it can be done in such a subtle and manipulative way that it is hard to respond.

I have a problem with this right now and I don't know what to do. I know about these techniques but I never learnt how to handle them in any other situation than a debate. In a debate you simply counteract by either using the same technique yourself (which is ugly and mean but it might be necessary) or by being very harsh about the fact that the person is using it and it is unproffessional.

But how do you handle a situation where the person/people in question is someone you have a personal relationship with and you don't think that the person is intending to make you feel bad but simply isn't aware of how they are hurting you?

Without attacking or ending up in an argument that doesn't lead anywhere... please let me know if you have any thoughts on this matter.

Tired.