fortyfour

I try so hard to be here and to stay in focus but everything is blurred and fades out. The sounds tune out and I'm back in my mind, again.


Hey Anxiety! Not so much welcome back... but hey you don't care do you? You just barge in and take up all the place on my couch - getting stains all over it, rob the remote control and eat all the food. Like a guest that overstays its welcome and wont get the hint. I hate you.
and Hey Depression! You're here too! It's almost like a class reunion when you're the one who was bullied and all the time and success in the world doesn't matter because as soon as you walk into that party you're the lonely, stupid, little, ugly and annoying girl that has no friends again.
So what do you guys want? Oh you're going to beat me up again? Depression takes hold of me with his clammy hands while Anxiety hits me in the stomach and Depression whispers in my ear: "They are all going to leave you. Did you think you mattered to anyone? Did you think they really cared about you? Stupid slut. I thought we taught you better than that."
And all I can do is catch my breath and force out through gritted teeth Go away!

To be continued...